and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
