your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
