Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
BRING THE BAGELS
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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