47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize