Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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