Already got asked if we're dating
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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