I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
