I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
