the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
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I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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