ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
