we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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