he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
