New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
