he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this is an emotional support booty call
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
