Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
