This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
