He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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