Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
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He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
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We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize