Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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