please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
