We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
