So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
