Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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