hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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