I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
