i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
