belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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