my phone cant type all the emotion im having
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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