I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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