A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we should paint friendship bongs
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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