Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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