im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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