Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's the barista slut.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
