I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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