Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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