and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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