So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
