he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just had sex on a roof
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
