I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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