I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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