i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
