it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You left your phone here
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