It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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