All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
