My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
