Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
