i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
