Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
