You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
