I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
