Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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