what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
