I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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