id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
