Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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