people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
