dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
