Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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