I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
