sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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