the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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