Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize