The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
