you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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