oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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