I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wanna go halves on a baby?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
