The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
