she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
