my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
