Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize