We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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