i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
