You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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