I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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