The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
